Sorry, been a while since I’ve written anything. And today, I’m gonna start by pissing off any Christian readers (well, the unreasonable ones, anyway).

It’s no secret I’m an atheist. Life has, if nothing else, proven the only power that gives a shit enough to help me is me, and if some great celestial thing exists, it’s probably more akin to the abominations of an H. P. Lovecraft story than the benevolent creator spoken of by so many faiths.

But today’s post isn’t about him. It’s about his idiot cult, and their holidays.

I celebrate Christmas and Easter, but not as day to recognize that Christ fellow. For me, it’s about gathering with family, and food. Same as Halloween. Same even as the 4th of July, which I know isn’t a Christian holiday, but it’s the same exact purpose.

You see, several “Christian” holidays celebrate things on arbitrary days that are far removed from the dates on which the thing they actually celebrate seems to reside. The dates they chose actually aren’t as arbitrary as they may seem though. They suspiciously coincide with pagan festivals, or holidays from other faiths. And there is historical reasons for that.

Christianity has a core mission to spread itself, and rid other faiths, as they anger it’s God. St. Patrick didn’t drive snakes from Ireland, after all. He drove pagans out. His mission was to make all of Ireland a God-fearing Christian land. He more or less succeeded, but it wasn’t without struggle. There are even werewolf myths that sprang from his endeavors, as clans who opposed the new faith being forced on them were “cursed” to become wolves for 7 years. The message there seems loud and clear: conform or be driven from your community.

The winter solstice and autumn and spring equinoxes all became important days to humans in general long before some guy was nailed to a tree for his beliefs. As we progressed from nomads and cave dwellers, we recognized the length of the days coincided with certain times of the year, and certain times of the year were less favorable, down right dangerous, compared to others. So, we would recognize that winter was coming, and feast, because who knew how many of us would make it and who we were saying goodbye to. And again, we feasted at the breaking of spring, because those that lived made it, and a bountiful hunting and gathering season hopefully would follow. Religions long before Christianity would attribute the seasons, and the successes of surviving them, and the bountifulness of harvests and hunts with the favor of beings thought to have greater power than ourselves, the Gods. This belief was then manipulated to control the communities that adopted them.

Certain parts of the year, when we celebrate, become sacred by tradition. Then as religions evolve, and try to spread and conquer others, in a very “catch more flies with honey than vinegar” move, the conquering religions would adopt some of the customs familiar to the conquered, easing the further conquering, and subsequent controlling of the people. “You have a winter festival? Well, aren’t you in luck! So do we, and we celebrate this gentlemen with a very poignant message, would you care to hear it?” You see where this is going?

So, Christmas, celebrating a guy who was born in late summer most likely, gets shifted around by the church to suit the purposes they require. Easter, same thing. Halloween, sure, they’ll take that too, why not. What’s weirder still is what happens following.

The lands conquered, the faith spread, but now, the people need to be controlled. Some of these celebrations get out of hand.

Christian Churches banned Christmas. You read that right. There actually was a period in history when Christians banned Christmas celebrations. Probably quite a few other holidays too. Nowadays, you’d hardly know it with they way some media outlets talk about a “War on Christmas” because retailers attempt to recognize not everyone is a Christian, and other holidays significant to other faiths also happen around that same time (some coincidentally, some for the same reason Christmas was assigned to the date it was relocated to). But again, believing in other Gods angers the Christian God, and the Christian faith seeks to be spread. To conquer. So, it is a war. But it’s not a War on Christmas, rather a war on everything that isn’t. Like the booze and debauchery that celebrating came with. That’s what got Christmas banned for a time. Too much spirits, not enough Holy.

Halloween is an interesting day. It was a festival, like Easter and Christmas, that was absorbed by the Christians, and then injected with demonic and satanic symbols. Satan wasn’t part of the original holiday until it was co-opted by other faiths. Then, because of the imagery they assigned it, they decided it had to be abolished. When the Satanic Panic of the darker ages eroded, it became about Stranger Danger, and now folks make their kids trick-or-treat in church parking lots out of the trunks of cars instead of going door to door.

Fun fact, nearly every case of tainted candy was found to have been given by a relative of the victim, and not a predatory stranger living in the community. There is nothing safer about doing it in a church parking lot than letting your kids go door to door. But now it’s become a church function again. You’ve isolated your family from anyone who isn’t of the same faith now from your holiday celebration. Because the church needs to be in control of the situation.

And you might be wondering why trick-or-treating in a church parking lot is divisive. Your church certainly allows everyone to participate, right? Sure they do. But just consider how comfortable you would feel if the event was held in the parking lot of a Russian Embassy or Planned Parenthood, or some venue that perhaps wasn’t in line with your beliefs. You wouldn’t feel comfortable. They may say you are welcome, but do you really feel it?

This isn’t what these holidays should be about. At all. Not the church, not the guy who was born or died on whatever day that definitely isn’t the day it’s celebrated on. Holidays should be about the people we have here and now, and see every day. Our family, our neighbors, our friends. Not only the members of our respective churches. The hunters and gatherers we live side by side with, now, not knowing which day may be the last we can say that.

Communities would benefit if we all took a more community-minded approach to these festivities than our current divide and conquer mentality. You can believe whatever you want, but understand your neighbor is entitled to that same freedom, and the cashier at your 7-11 isn’t required to only recognize your beliefs over anyone else’s, regardless of how important the day is to your faith. It could be important to other faiths as well. Ramadan and Easter happened the same time this year. Passover has always been about this same time as well.

You’re not a good Christian Soldier when you act like an asshole and demand the poor kid jockeying the register only acknowledge the Christian holiday. You’re just an asshole. Same when it comes to Christmas time. Saying shit like “It’s Merry Christmas!!” when someone says “Happy Holidays!” or “Seasons Greetings” just makes you a jerk. You can say “Merry Christmas”, but it’s insisting that’s the only important day deserving recognition (the “It’s” part of the statement, along with the nasty tone and offense taken at anything else being used as greeting) that makes you a piece of shit. It is that behavior that divides the community, and isolates people.

Fucking stop it. Seriously.

All you God-fearing good Christian soldiers, pull your heads out of your asses and remember your faith’s holiday not being given the spotlight doesn’t equate persecution. And “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar”.

If you still have a moment more, I’d now like to talk to you about our Lord and Savior Cthulhu…